


Two and Me makes Three.

by whyamIalwaysLoislane (Whyamialwaysloislane)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, BAMF Stiles, Background Relationships, Bartender Stiles, Dead Kate, Deputy in Training Stiles, Derek is a bad wingman, Everyone Is Alive, Except Kate, Jackson is a douche, Kid Fic, M/M, Parent Derek Hale, Sassy, Sassy Stiles, Writer Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:47:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1868454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyamialwaysloislane/pseuds/whyamIalwaysLoislane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is a un-willing wingman and Stiles is a sassy bartender. Evie just wants to sleep.</p><p>Not much else to be said really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two and Me makes Three.

**Author's Note:**

> I got really bored, so I hope you like it.  
> Totally Un-Beta'd.

"Two Anythings. Please." Derek panted, slamming his hands on the bar, getting the attention of the man behind the bar. Then he absorbed his face. He was gorgeous, speckled skin, thick black rimmed glasses, waistcoat over a plaid shirt, cleaning a glass with long expert fingers that could do some damage.

Shit. Derek shook his head, he didn't have time for fantasising about the hot bartender.

Jackson had got _rejected_.

 ** _REJECTED_**.

Not only was it bad enough that he got rejected but she was a Goddess. 

So, Derek needed alcohol. 

"We don't stock Any Things..." The bartender quipped, lip twitching and eyebrow raised. Derek had no time for sassy bartenders. 

"I have no time for your sass. My douchebag friend just got turned down by the red head over there." Derek sighed. "So I need just anything containing Alcohol."

"Ahh Another scorned by Her Highness Lydia Martin." He put the glass down and shook his head. "Don't worry, he'd have to be a God not for her to turn him down." 

"He is a God." Derek said, eyes wide. "Well he thinks he is. But he hasn't been turned down. Ever." Derek clutched the bar to stress his point.

"As someone who grew up in love with her, unless he's I don't know Ryan Reynolds, he won't get any where near her strawberry blonde curls, or her pants." He shrugged, and turned to the fridge behind the bar. "Two beers good? Or something stronger."

"Stronger." Derek's knuckles were white when he let go of the bar. 

"Tequila then." He pluck two shot glasses up and poured two tequilas. "Lime and salt?" 

"The shots are okay." Derek knocked back the two shots and pushed a bill towards the bartender. "Thanks."

"No problem. What's your name?"

"Derek."

"No problem, Derek."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"But look at me, I'm everybodies type Derek." Jackson whined, sipping his drink. It was a cosmo or something, martini maybe? The Bartender had been sending surprise drinks over through the entire night, Derek didn't want to see the bill. He'd just shove it at Jackson.

"Sure." Derek sipped his whatever the hell this delicious thing is and rolled his eyes. "When's Danny getting here?" Derek groaned.

"He's got off with someone, I don't know. Hey would gay guys reject me?" Jackson's beady eyes focused on Derek.

"Why on earth are you looking at me?" Derek snapped.

"You like dudes!" Jackson shouted, very loudly.

"I'm Bi!" Derek growled, knocking back his drink to give him strength. He was just about to tear Jackson a ear full when someone cleared their throat behind him, sternly. 

"I've been told Ryan Reynold's is here." Lydia Martin herself was standing there, voice bland and expression just done. 

"Over there." Derek pointed at Jackson and slipped out of the booth, walking over to the bar and the bartender. "Thank you."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Derek." He smirked, placing a simple beer in front of Derek. 

"Still, thank you." Derek sighed, taking a sip of the beer.

"No problem." He leant on the bar, face close to Derek's. "So whatcha say, how about we get out of here?" Derek choked on his beer and it sprayed out of his mouth and onto the bartender's face. "Okay, I was thinking a different kind of spit swap." He rubbed his eyes and eyeliner smudged under his eyes. 

"Oh my God, I'm sorry..." Derek spluttered.

"Stiles. My name is Stiles. I thought you should know it since I have your spit on my eyeliner."  He laughed, Stiles, laughed, taking off his beanie and rubbing at his face. "My offer still stands." He looked over his beanie with one eye.

Derek looked over to Jackson's booth, where Lydia was grabbing his collar and yanking him to her. 

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good!" He chucked his dishcloth over to the other man behind the counter, he smiled at Stiles and nodded. "My shift ends now, how convenient." Derek shook his head at Stiles and watched as Stiles vaulted over the bar. He landed in front of Derek and grinned, cockily. "First time I did that I landed flat on my face."

Derek followed Stiles out and into the bar's alley way.

"Spark?" Derek asked, actually observing the bar's name.

"The guy who owns it Deaton, he's big on mythology without it being mythology. He's cool, Deaton. He's a veterinarian. Scotty works for him Monday to Friday and I man the bar most nights. Otherwise I'm a Deputy in training." He shoved his hands into his pockets and still managed to shrug. "What do you do?"

"I'm a writer." Derek confessed, falling into step beside Stiles.

"What do you write?"

"Fiction mostly, but also Screenplays and other things for money."

"Ever written _erotica_?" Stiles asked, eyebrows wiggling.

"What are you five?" Derek snorted. "And I believe that's categorized in 'other things for money'." 

"So you have!" Stiles exclaimed, jumping on the spot.

"It was once, I needed cash and it was a Mills and Boons Novel, so I don't know if it counts." Derek sighed. 

"That _so_  counts." Stiles looked at Derek. "You look too grumpy to have written a smutty romance novel." 

"I have sisters." Derek shrugged as a answer. 

"What was it called? Bet it was one of those books where he's a grumpy CEO and she's a peppy or emotionally unbalanced intern or some shit."

"Theres a formula." Derek grunted.

"Seriously?" 

"Yup. He can't be a bin man or have a beard." 

"You're out then." 

"Ha, guess so." Derek scrubbed his chin, the stubble scratching his hand.

"I don't know, I don't think I'd mind the bearded writer. All angst ridden and grumpy, but secretly with a heart of liquid gold. I bet you're good with kids as well." 

"Well, I've only had one review but I think I'm good." Derek laughed, kicking the floor.

"You have kids?" Stiles asked, eyes a little wide. 

"I have a daughter." Derek confessed. "Evie." 

"You just got hotter." Stiles breathed, eyes wide.

"What?" Derek raised a sceptical eyebrow. 

"Sorry, just the look in your eyes then was just so fond. I think my ovaries might burst if I actually saw you with your kid."

"You don't have ovaries."

"Not anymore." Stiles winked. 

 

* * *

 

 

"I want you to meet Evie." Derek said and Stiles almost choked on his pasta. A splash of sauce fell onto his tie. 

"Evie?!" Stiles swallowed, hectically. His eyes were scanning Derek for some sign of hesitance. When they'd first started dating, Derek had asked if Stiles was okay not meeting Evie until Derek was comfortable with the relationship and it was stable enough for Evie, she'd had a hectic life so far. 

Stiles did not expect that to only be three months down the line. 

"Yeah, I want you to meet her. She's the most important thing in my life and I need to know if you two are compatible." Derek nodded, pushing his food round his plate. 

"Okay. When? Because I don't really want to meet my biggest opponent for your affection with pasta sauce on my tie." Stiles grinned, flicking a little bit at Derek. 

"Hey." Derek snarled playfully. "What you say to tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow is good."

"She's with my sister tonight, she's going to drop her off tomorrow morning." 

"No sex. I need all my strength for tomorrow." Stiles said, placing his fork down. Derek's foot ran up his thigh. "I could be persuaded."

 

* * *

 

 

"Pancakes, Orange juice. Shit, Derek what's the other one?" Stiles panicked staring at the place setting for Evie where Stiles' grandma's recipe pancakes (if that wasn't going to make Evie love him, he didn't know what would) sat next to a tumbler and a empty space where something else should be. 

"Here." Derek placed the maple syrup beside the plate and shoved a slice of bacon between Stiles lips, before placing a kiss on his cheek. 

"I'm so nervous. This little lady better be cute." Derek laughed, giving Stiles a comforting hip nudge. A key rattled in the door to Derek's apartment and Stiles clutched Derek's hand. 

"I come bearing a gift!" Laura stepped in the apartment. Laura was almost Derek's height with the same eyebrows. "Hey Stiles." She hitched the toddler on her hip up and made her way over to Derek.

"Daddy!" What Stiles guess was Evie, made grabby hands at her father. "We took the box!" 

"Box?" Stiles mouthed at Laura. 

"You try saying Elevator with like five teeth." Laura laughed, kissing her brother on his cheek and leaving. Derek held Evie tight to his chest for a few minutes before turning to Stiles. 

"Evie, this is Stiles." Evie had her dad's eyes, big and colour changing depending on the light that hit them. Her lips were latched around her finger as she studied Stiles. She took her finger from her mouth and made grabby hands at Stiles. Stiles nodded at Derek, and took Evie in his arms. She weighed practically nothing. She looked at Stiles big eyebrows furrowed. 

"I'm Stiles. Hey." He waved at her and she loosened a little. "I made you pancakes?" 

"PANCAKES!" Evie beamed. Stiles brought her round to her chair and set her down, placing the plastic fork in her hand. 

"Will you be okay with her for a hour or so?" Derek asked, once he'd cornered Stiles by the coffee. Stiles looked over at Evie, who had maple syrup in her hair and stuck his tongue out at her. She giggled and went back to getting really into her pancakes. 

"I think I will." Stiles clapped his hands together and moved over to sit by Evie, listening to her animately narrate her stay at Aunty Laura's. Complete with Robots, and her wolf friend. Stiles nodded, clutching his seat, looking at her like there was no where else he'd rather be. 

 

* * *

 

 

Derek had spent longer writing than he'd expected. He left his study anxious, and ready to apologize, when he clapped eyes on the scene in his living room.Stiles was asleep propped up on a bean bag with Evie in his lap. She was covered with Stiles plaid shirt and was snoring lightly. Stiles' hand was gently stroking her hair. Now Derek happens to be a six foot wall of muscle but he could have cried. He flicked the TV over to something more bearable.

"Leave this on." Stiles mumbled, sniffling and letting his head flop to the side. Derek left the film on and sat down next to Stiles, letting his head rest on Derek's shoulder. Evie must of sensed the extra presence and stretched out, her legs in Derek's lap. "She wore me out."

"I think I love you." Derek mumbled, regretting the words as soon as they left his lips. 

"Good for you, 'cause I think I love you too." Stiles smiled, pressing his lips to Derek's.

"Daddy, Stiles, I love you both. Shush." Evie groaned, before falling back asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes there is a formula for writing Mills & Boons novels. My English Lang teacher was highly fascinated by it.  
> The man COULD NOT have a beard or be Binman.


End file.
